The Monster of Lauren-and-Miley Stein
The Monster of Lauren-and-Miley Stein 'is inspired from the ''Phineas and Ferb ''episode: The Monster of Phineas-n-Ferbenstein Story ''(Scene shows up with Lauren and Miley coming out from curtains, playing organ music.) 'Lauren: '''Good evening, ladies and gentlemen. We thought it's only fair the show you're 'bout to see may disturb you. It may shock you. It may even horrify you! 'Miley: ''(Coughs up in a hairball)'' Lauren: 'You've been warned. ''(Scene shows the episode logo, and thunder crashes in background.) (Chorus singing, thunder crashes, and it begins to rain.) 'Lauren: '''Looks like a real summer storm! ''(Thunder crashes) Well, our plan to stand alone in a field with a metal rod is out. (Inside Flynn-Fletcher house) 'Grandpa Reg: '''The weather isn't fit for a man or a platypus. '''Lauren: '''Hey, where's Perry? Doo bee doo bee doo bah (X2) Doo ''(Organ music plays) '''Donna: ''(Comes out of curtains) Good morning, Agent P. (Pulls her arms behind him) The mission you're about to receive may be shocking. It may even horrify you! But then again, probably not, I mean, heh. You've been doing this for a while. Anyway, sorry 'bout the tarp behind me. Storm caused some water damage, and--''(Looks at her watch)'' ooh! Cheese and crackers! Late for my cousin's wedding. Gotta go. Spade is up to something, and you know what to do. '' Perry! (Scene shifts inside the kitchen) Lauren: 'I wonder where Perry goes off to. '''Grandpa Reg: '''Lost your platypus, eh? ''(Camera zooms out) That really reminds me of a great monster story. 'Lauren: '''Tell us, Grandpa! '''Grandpa Reg: '''It's about Miley's ancestor. She was her great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great-great aunt. ''(Lights go out) '''Candace: '''Great. '''Grandpa Reg: ''(Turns on a flashlight)'' It was a long time ago, back in the old country, on an old moonlit light. (Flashback, a wolf howls in the background as it shows Lauren and Miley lookalikes transporting heavy items) Grandpa Reg: 'Your great aunt Miley Goyle was assisting the famous Lauren Stein ''(In the flashback, a platypus with a robe walks up) in macabre task of collecting spare parts from semi-aquatic mammals. (In the flashback, the platypus gives Miley Goyle a steering wheel and runs off) 'Lauren Stein: '''Hey, Miley Goyle, the Monster's ''(Miley Goyle walks up) Ball Best Monster Contest. A big prize goes to the best monster! Sweet, I know what we're gonna do today! (Cackles) (Scene shows a castle with light fizzing in the background) 'Grandpa Reg: '''Back at castle Lauren Stein, the girls began building a monster. ''(Record needle scratches) '''Candace: ''(Jumps in)'' Can you please tell a story at least in color, Grandpa? (At the flashback, the castle is colored, and a rainbow appears behind it) Lauren: ''(Jumps in)'' Perhaps muted color would be better. (The flashback turns black and white) Grandpa Reg: ''(Jumps in)'' Who's telling the story, anyway? (Grandpa Reg goes off, Candace and Lauren go off-screen. The camera zooms into the castle) Did I mention that the girls had a conniving and disapproving governess named Candy Bominable? Candy Bominable: ''(While using a quill)'' So, Constance McFlytrap was like totally checking me out when--will you hold it down? I'm trying to use the quill! Lauren Stein: 'Isn't it beautiful, Miley Goyle? We're on verge of bringing it ''back '' to life to the ''(walks to the counter) best monster ever! Okay, let her rip! (Miley Goyle cranks a handle and the table rises. When the table reaches the top, Lauren Stein pulls a lever and thunder crashes. She flips the lever again, Miley Goyle cranks the handle as the table lowers. The platypus monster grunts) 'Lauren Stein: '''It's alive! ALIVE!!! ''(She laughs maniacally as the platypus monster sits) And it's really big. (Back to the kitchen) 'Lauren: '''How big, Grandpa? '''Grandpa Reg: '''Bigger than a refrigerator but smaller than a really big refrigerator. ''(Scene shifts to Spade and Perry) (Thunder crashes, Perry comes in) 'Spade: '''Don't close the door! ''(Door slams, the camera zooms out as she walks on-screen holding a candle) Oh, that's just great! The storms made my security system go cuckoo, and you locked us in. (Sighs) Well, you might as well as make yourself comfy, coz we're all stuck in here till the power comes back on. (Thunder crashes, as scene shifts to Spade and Perry sitting on chairs) Ooh, quite a storm, huh? Reminds me of a story used to tell me to scare me wetting into bed. (Laughs) That prankster! Camera zooms into her) It began long time ago with my great-great grandmother, Chariclo Arganthone Spade! (2nd flashback. C. A. Spade is seen holding a screw.) '''Spade: ''(C. A. Spade puts the screw on a machine)'' (Narrating) She was obsessed on (C. A. Spade screws the screw into place) the most freaky doctor of her time. Back then, to be considered truly freaky, you'd actually have an angry mob with you. (A woman participating on the mob knocks the handle) Demi Vondergeist: 'Your 11.00 is here. '''C. A. Spade: '''The angry mob?! Ooh, they're early. Show 'em to the parlor. ''(Scene switches to the parlor, showing everyone in the angry mob) 'C. A. Spade: '''Yes, of course, of course. This time, I know I've created something freaky enough to warrant your full attention and anger. The Concoction-Brew-inator! A diabotical that produces potion ''(Turns on the Concoction-Brew-inator) like myself, (Grabs a cup) into a horrible monster! (Drinks the potion) Now...tremble before me! (Ding) '''Mob: ''(Laughing)'' C. A. Spade: ''(Seen as a fairy)'' What? You ain't so much trembling. Wait, wait, wait, wait! Come back! (The mob leaves, the last person on the mob leaves), but you're slightly irritated, right? I should get points for that! I should get points for that. (Scene shifts to the kitchen) Grandpa Reg: 'Oh, where was I? Oh yes! Now the girls have a real monster on their hands, and they'd to get him ready for the big night. ''(At Lauren Stein's castle) (Platypus monster chatters) 'Lauren Stein: '''C'mon, boy! That-a-boy! Check it out, Miley Goyle. ''(Throws a fish inside the platypus monster's mouth) To make sure we win the monster contest, I taught him a few tricks. Watch this. Play dead! (The platypus monster doesn't move) Huh? Huh? '''Candy Bominable: ''(Still using a quill)'' So I said, "No, you di-in't!" And she said--what was that? (Opens the door) What's going down there? (Goes down the stairs) I'll go straight to the angry mob and tell on you. (Opens another door) Aha! Lauren Stein: 'Oh hi, Candy Bominable. ''(Holds up the Best Monster Contest poster) We're gonna enter the Best Monster Contest. 'Candy Bominable: '''How are you gonna enter a monster contest? ''(The platypus monster walks behind her) You don't even have a monster! '''Platypus monster: ''(Growls)'' Candy Bominable: '''He's right behind me, isn't he? '''Lauren Stein: '''Yeah! '''Candy Bominable: ''(Screams)'' (Steps back and grabs Lauren Stein's dress) I'm telling mob! (Runs off, screaming. She comes out from the castle with a bike) Angry mob, come quick! (Stops the bike) Lauren Stein and Miley Goyle have created a giant green monster! Rebecca Steam: 'Didn't you tell us last week that they've created a two-headed cow? '''Candy Bominable: '''We're wasting time! ''(Bikes off) Now let's hurry before the monster gets away! '''C. A. Spade: ''(Back to normal)'' Demi, I think I found the problem. I had the Brew-inator set to "Fairy Princess" by mistake. You know, in hind sight, I question even including a (turns the Concoction-Brew-inator) setting to begin with (the Concoction-Brew-inator whits then turns off. She grabs the cup) But you know, live and learn. Cheers! (Drinks the potion) Hmm...freak has an interesting flavor. I must tell my friend, Ti-''(she grunts and screams, as she turns into a monster)'' Demi Vondergeist: 'Well, it actually worked. '''C. A. Spade: '''I know! I'm just surprised as you are! Put her there, Demi! Psych! ''(Laughs) (Jumps a few times) At last! A whole new world of freak has opened up to me! You know what this calls for, do you? 'Demi Vondergeist: '''A rampage? '''C. A. Spade: '''Exactly! Oh, and clean your outfit. ''(Laughs) Scary! ''(Song: She's More Freaky)'' She's everyone's love spot number one She's a freaky, freaky girl '''C. A. Spade: ''That's me!'' She's got a diabotical sense of fun And a freaky, freaky plan C. A. Spade: ''Well, it actually ain't a plan.'' Yes, she's more freaky C. A. Spade: ''(While doing rabbit ears on two people having their picture taken)'' I'm winging it, actually.'' '' More freaky than she was before C. A. Spade: ''That's right.'' Yes, she's more freaky C. A. Spade: ''I don't think it's weird.'' And she's taking it door to door C. A. Spade: 'Oops, gotta go. ''(Chuckles, runs to Castle Lauren Stein) Freaky! (Knocks the handle) Freaky! (Freaky laughing) Hyah! Got your nose! (Laughs) I got your...I-I-I do really have his nose. (The platypus monster is seen without his bill.) Oops. Heh, okay, okay. Well, we'll just put this back. (The platypus monster is seen with his bill, but slanted) There you go, good as new. '''Platypus monster: ''(Growls)'' C. A. Spade: 'FREAKY!!! ''(The platypus monster roars and breaks the doors, it runs after C. A. Spade) 'Lauren Stein: '''Oh, great! We really have to stop losing our monsters. ''(Woman screaming) '''Tiffany Stripe: '''Look who's coming! '''Villagers: ''(Screaming)'' Run! (The platypus monster walks down to the cemetery. The camera pans down to Isabellaura, who puts a flower on pond. The platypus monster walks behind her and growls) Isabellaura: 'What'cha doin'? ''(Outside a cave) 'Lauren Stein: '''Hello, are there any monsters there? '''Ada DeMew: '''Shh. '''Lauren Stein: '''Well, I guess not. ''(At Lauren Stein's lab) 'Candy Bominable: '''It was right here! You gotta believe me! A giant platypus! ''(Mob grumbling) Wait, mob, look! (Shows a poster) The Monster's Ball! That must be where they've gone! (They walk out) Follow me! '''Isabellaura: '''La, la, la, la. What'cha doin'? '''Lauren Stein: '''We're looking for a giant platypus monster. Have you seen one by any chance? '''Isabellaura: '''Funny, you should ask. We spent the entire afternoon together. We went swimming, had lunch together. Did you know she eats fruits? I stuck PB and J on a whole wheat. '''Lauren Stein: '''Where's he now? '''Isabellaura: '''He went into town to enter the Best Monster Contest. '''Lauren Stein: ''(Grabs Miley Goyle and shakes her)'' Of course that's where he went! What were we thinking? Come on! (They run off) Isabellaura: 'Well, goodbye then! Tell him to save me a dance! ''(At Best Monster Contest, the building doors open. Waltz music plays in the background. Contestants walk into the building, and so does the platypus monster.) 'Lauren Stein: '''Thanks for the lift, miss! ''(She and Miley Goyle hop off) Let's go! (Inside the building, distinct chattering is heard as the platypus monster walks by.) '''C. A. Spade: ''(Back to normal)'' Best monster, indeed. Wait till they got a pure load of freak! (Knocks the punch bowl, cups and drink dispensers on table and puts the Concoction-Brew-inator on the table) We'll adjust the dial and--''(turns around, notices the platypus monster)'' Yah! (The platypus monster chatters, and his bill slants. He grabs C. A. Spade, shakes and punches her) Larissa Blue: 'Monster fight! ''(She starts fighting with another contestant, and everyone else starts fighting) '''C. A. Spade: ''(While being slammed on floor)'' Really, really, I don't have your nose! Wait. Wait. Time out. Allow me drink a bit before we continue. I'm parched, okay? Lauren Stein: 'Here, boy! ''(At Miley Goyle) I hope he hasn't gotten into trouble. '''C. A. Spade: ''(Drinks a potion, chuckles)'' Just wait till my potion kicks in, you big dumb monst--what? B-but I thought it'd set to--''(flies to the Concoction-Brew-inator and turns the dial. The platypus monster grabs her and yelps. The flashback ends.)'' Spade: 'And well, I forgot exactly what happened after that. ''(The lights come back on) Oh, the lights! What d' ya know? (Gets up and stretches. Perry does the same thing)'' Oh, I got no time now. I've got the chiropractor at 4.00. (At Perry) Could we pick it up tomorrow at, say, my evil scheme monologue? Good! (Camera zooms into her) But I wonder who actually win the Best Monster Contest. '' (Back at the flashback) 'Lauren Stein: '''Oh, there you are, platypus monster. ''(Camera pans to inside the building) And to think, I worried that you might get into some mischief. (The platypus monster hacks up C. A. Spade's wand) 'Host: '''Ladies and gentlemen, we're ready to announce the winner of Best Monster Contest. '''Lauren Stein: '''Hey, we're just in time. ''(Outside the building, Candy Bominable opens a door) '''Candy Bominable: '''Mob! It's here! The monster's in here! '''Janet Long: '''We're coming! Don't get your knickers twisted. '''Candy Bominable: ''(Walks to the building by a Concoction-Brew-inator)'' They're so busted! (Notices the Concoction-Brew-inator) Oh, refreshments! (Grabs the cup)'' This monster hunting is a really thirsty work. (Drinks the potion) That's a peculiar taste. 'Constance McFlytrap: '''Hey, Candy! '''Candy Bominable: '''Oh, Constance! '''Constance McFlytrap: '''I can't remember the day you looked a bit more beautiful. ''(Candy Bominable turns to a monster) Well, now I can. 'Host: '''Ladies and Gentlemen, the winner is...(camera pans to Candy Bominable as a spotlight shines behind her)'' That! (Two judges from the Best Monster Contest puts flowers and a crown on her head) 'Lauren Stein: '''Way to go, Candy! ''(Thumbs up) Good show! 'Janet Long: '''There it is! '''Candy Bominable: '''No, no, no, I'm not the monster! ''(Screams) (Throws the flowers and runs through wall. The mob chases after her) 'Lauren Stein: '''Oh well. ''(Touches the platypus monster's hand) Win some, lose some. boy. (Camera pans into him) You'll always be the biggest and baddest monster to us. '''Isabellaura: ''(Dressed in her contestant outfit)'' I see you found the giant platypus. 'Lauren Stein: '''That's right. And we'll never lose him again. ''(Flashback ends) 'Grandpa Reg: '''And so that's why there are pumpkins. '''Lauren: '''Uh, Grandpa, you were talking about the platypus monster. '''Grandpa Reg: '''Ooh, it sounds exciting! Tell me 'bout that. '''Lauren: '''But you were--I mean--I didn't--''(sighs, the light comes back on) I've got nothing. Miley? '''Miley: '''Platypus monsters are the only monsters to lay eggs. Category:Transcripts Category:Episode plot Category:Stories Category:Phineas and Ferb Crossover